It’s ok to say this sucks ……… even if your an olympian.
Why is it that we feel compelled to hide our emotions and our feelings? I know for me I have been made to feel like no matter what I go through…. It could be worse. You know what ……I don’t buy it.
Here’s why, I firmly believe that God puts us through only what we can handle at that moment. We go through it one way or another because we don’t have a choice. But what we can do, is choose how we go through it.
What I have been taught to say by society is: “Now I know I haven’t been through as much as you” or “I know mines not as bad as what you are going through”….
Of course I have not been through as much as the next person, we don’t live the same life. I could be talking to a Vietnam vet who has been through the unthinkable, I could be talking with someone who lost all 4 of their children in a car accident, I could be talking with someone battling cancer, I could be talking with someone who is caring for a loved one in the end stages of life, or I could be talking with someone who is sick and doesn’t know why, the bottom line is …….. it’s okay to say what you really feel inside. In fact it’s more then ok, it’s healing to admit that what you are going through right now…. Sucks! You don’t have to feel like it’s not as hard as what the next person is going through.
Who is to judge? Seriously who is to judge your current problem against theirs? If you’re standing next to someone who says… Yeh, that sucks but it could be worse. I say ditch that person in your life. You don’t want someone if your life who is going to judge you. What they are saying is that they think they understand what it is you are going through and you should count your blessings because it could be so much worse.
Let me paint you a picture. On the outside people may see that you have lost your job and you may hear “oh yeh Carl just lost his job too so don’t feel so bad” or “don’t worry you’ll get a new one and hey things could be worse!” But what they may not know is…. your over extended on your mortgage and your going to lose your house. You have medical bills that are unpaid from your child’s accident, not to mention your marriage is crumbling and your credit cards are maxed! . (Insert any situation you like into this story.)
My friend, if you’re in this boat I’m sorry for what you are going through and you need to be validated for it.
What’s not okay for us to do is to play the victim. You know the person that keeps complaining and is not doing anything about it. And then tomorrow saying “it sucks” again but you have done NOTHING to change your current situation. That’s playing a victim and when you do that, your not helping anyone, especially yourself.
In the past I have felt really uncomfortable expressing how I feel. I know a lot of women feel the same way, and when it comes to men I believe most men don’t really know how to express their feelings or how to handle other peoples thoughts or emotions. (not all but in my experience most) My circle of friends knows that I am dealing with a health issue of Lymes, that yep could be totally worse. My inner circle of friends knows that I am facing an upcoming difficult stressful surgery for my child that yep could be worse! And my inner inner circle knows the deeper stressors in my life as well, that YEP COULD BE WORSE. sorry just had to put that in there of all of you out there that are quietly whispering….. huh! what I am dealing with is so much worse. It’s ok, but learn to change your thought process for others and have compassion. You will feel so much better!
So yep, for me right now things kinda suck. But today I feel empowered because I am doing something about it and it feels SO GOOD. Am I able to cure my health? nope. Am I able to know for 100% that my child is going to be fine? nope. Am I sure about the future? NOPE!
What I am sure about is that I have a heavenly Father who loves me. I have an amazing family and most of all best husband in the world who keep me going and a good support system.
I want to share some things that I have learned to make sure I keep things moving forward and I am still a work in progress!
- Talk ~ Say what it is that you really want to say. Don’t be ashamed or fearful of letting someone know what is really wrong. You don’t need to make excuses for how you feel. And if the person is not receptive then find a new person.
- Take a step ~ Life can feel overwhelming at times! Having a mentor or friend that can help from the outside and maybe pinpoint a great starting point for you. Then take action on that one thing.
- Take another step~ If it’s not working, and you have honestly given 100% effort, then you should abandon it and try something else. Do your homework and consult with your mentor or friend you trust.
- Show kindness and give love freely ~ take what you have learned from your own experiences and use it.
*Being +100lbs overweight and losing it has taught me what it feels like to carry a burden and work very hard towards a goal and to lift that burden.
*Working in Long term care has taught me to value my youth and my health. And show love and attention to our elders.
*Losing my father in an instant has taught me to appreciate life.
*Having a child with a medical diagnosis and impairment has taught me I have control over nothing.
*Being sick has taught me to fight and believe in myself.
My friend, I know how lonely the journey of life can feel at times. I know how overwhelming it can get. I know that just when you feel like you can’t take any more, there is more. I encourage you to dig deep within and Fight for yourself! You are important, you matter. Arm yourself with courage and face challenges head on!
You can do it, I believe in you!