Jay and Kelly wanted me to share a bit of my recent journey. I have been hesitant mostly because when I go through something, I like to wait to have all the facts and learn how to overcome before I share anything.
Well, I’m in the process of learning so bear with me.
Over the last 6 months I just have not felt myself. If you were to ask me exactly what was wrong I would probably tell you a bunch of little things that would come and go.
Sleep issues, weight gain, hair loss, resting head tremors, brain fog, extreme fatigue like the kind where you just have to take a nap or the feeling when you wake up you just need to go back to bed. Joint pain, muscle pain, poor thinking like things you would not necessarily think or a way I might act, depression: mostly I attribute this to not knowing what was going on. Bouts of anxiety, light headed, back pain and just in general pain that would creep in different places. I felt inflamed all over my body.
I started noticing more of the physical issues the end of January. I would say things like: I’m just so tired, I don’t feel like workout today but I’m going to anyway. I remember sitting in a movie with Riley and during the previews I started having a sever panic attack for no reason. Never had this happen before.
I eat really very well. The only change I made starting in January was to add in more healthy fats. (I eat fairly low fats due to not having a gall bladder, so when I eat fat…. it runs right through me. Yes, I could take a supplement to help but I chose not to) I eat whole foods, I eat organic for my staple foods, I changed my work load and stress load to a manageable level, I go to bed and sleep 8+ hours a night unfortunately they have become interrupted sleep. Bottom line is I live what I teach. So why the heck do I fell so awful???
Do you know how hard it is to walk into a gym where your picture is displayed very large of how much weight you lost and know that you weigh 20lbs more?
Do you know how hard it is to teach a class and feel really awful.
Do you know how hard it is to sit with someone and lead them on a fat loss journey when you yourself cannot get the weight off.
Do you know how hard it is to be in the fitness industry, face your employers while gaining weight, having a difficult time with exercise, the right mindset and not be able to give them an answer as to “WHY”
Do you know how hard it is to hear your Dr. tell you all your blood work is normal. Maybe it’s your hormones?
Or to feel ” like you are the only one in the world that can lead a healthy life style and still gain weight” and that I “fit no clinical profile of anyone.”
Insert the feeling of Am I really going crazy? Because I think some people around me are thinking I am a bit crazy!
Let me clear things up….
I’m not Crazy. 🙂
I have been diagnosed with Lymes Disease. Not only Lymes but I also have been diagnosed with another tick born illness called anaplasomosis.
Thankfully my Dr. agreed to do the full panel tick tests on me, and they came back 100% Lymes and further indicators,
she is sending me to a disease specialist whom I see later this week.
There are some people that still don’t understand Lymes disease because not many physicians believe in the testing process, they go only by a bullseye rash as an indicator. The reality is in 30-40% of the cases people don’t have the rash, my case in point. This disease can Wreak havoc on your body. I was just with one of my very best friends this week who’s brother in law had Lymes. He nearly died. Thankfully now he is on a regimen and is slowly repairing his health and his life. Years he went without a diagnosis and knew inside he was not going to make it.
I have spoken with 2 others who have had Lymes. This is a bad disease that really can destroy your life if not discovered. It has been helpful for me to learn that the feelings I have had, the physical issues I have had, the abnormal anxiety, depression and that feeling of being crazy is what lots of other people feel and there is reason behind it.
So here I am.
I am going through a regime of antibiotic treatment. I have good days and bad days. But I know what’s wrong and following my current path is going to give me the best chance at getting rid of these nasty bugs. I’m not 100% sure how long it’s going to take to fix it. But I am confident in this…. I WILL.
I will be able to find that place again where I am: confident, strong spiritually, mentally and physically, happy, healthy, able to LIVE without fear of being a fake, being able to live and not hide what I am facing.
This whole process has really taught me a lot. It’s taught me to not give up on myself. Even when everyone else has… don’t give up! You know yourself best, keep searching if you think something is really wrong then keep going and don’t let anyone or anything stand in your way.
I Can and I Will!